In a world where nothing makes sense anymore, the rules are set up and the points don’t matter, dogs finally take a stand.
What do you want? All balls should actually be thrown!
When do you want it? Now!
This decree is similar to the song that has barked in cities across the country. From the Hollers of Possom Trot, Kentucky, to the tiniest cracks of Buttzville, New Jersey and every other town never heard of, dogs bring their message to the masses.
“We’re just sick of it, you know? Fool me for once, shame on you. Make a fool of me twice, I want to poop your shoe right before you leave for work, Susan, ”said Taco Jones, an angry Chihuahua who attended the protest with his wife Callie.
The lawsuit aims to get people to pay for the dogs’ emotional pain and suffering
The movement has caught the attention of some of the most recognizable names in social activism today. Wembley, Dingleberry and Dachshund, a Los Angeles law firm, have agreed to file a class action lawsuit with the help of well-known public figure Aaron Barkovich. Your goal is to pay people for the emotional pain and suffering caused by balls that aren’t thrown, ricocheted, or otherwise abandoned.
The “Every Throw Matters” movement has brought together gray-faced puppies and dogs from all sides of the dog park. Teacup Yorkies to Irish Wolfhounds agree that changes need to be made. At least this edition has brought together dogs of all breeds and pedigrees, which in itself is a win.
“Enough is enough! I’ve spent eight years on the job retiring with my family and enjoying the simple joys in life like throwing a ball in my grass,” said retired K9 Sergeant Winston Kelley-Gross. “I smelled many steps of the perpetrators to get here, and that’s the thanks I get? Look at me! I have a pinched nerve in my neck from the excitement of a wrong throw. Someone has to pay.”
A peaceful protest with an appetite for destruction
As with any protest, there were some disruptors on the scene, like this guy who only wore a donut pillow around his head. You can identify him by the riots in the United States Capitol.
“It’s easy. We want all the balls to be thrown the first time. We’ll stay peaceful, but if our demands aren’t met, we’ll have to resort to other options – chewing sofa cushions, farting on your TikTok videos, maybe guests hobbling.” “First of all, TikTok is easy so you’re welcome. Second, anything is possible. I mean, just look at me. I’m a talking dog who carries a donut on national television.”
He refused to give his name but informed us that he is a sovereign citizen who does not have to obey the laws of man.
Celebrity endorsements help spread awareness
The movement has gained momentum with the support of celebrities and influencers. Musicians David Growl, Nikki Stixx and members of Bones, Pugs and Harmony have teamed up to create a GoFundMe that they can use to raise funds to cover legal and medical expenses for victims of false throws. Popular influencer Daisy Smith posted this statement on her Instagram while on vacation in Fiji:
“Every Throw Matters is a movement that means a lot to me. Although I’ve never hunted a ball myself, I have a strong feeling that chasing a ball is a basic canine right. Personally, I urge all of our elected dog park managers and K9s to stand up for dogmanity – stick hunters, ball hunters, and outrageous attention hunters like me should be treated with dignity and respect. “
If you’d like to help the Every Throw Matters movement, here’s what you can do:
Throw the DANG BALL!